Altered State of Mind

Coming to you live from my futon...however my mind has been positively affected by alcohol. Tuesdays are my first days of work each week and, while the number of classes is fairly low, I have the most students of any day on Tuesdays. Every class I have is high energy. The first two little people act like a rambunctious married couple - where the boy is smart and participates half of the time...the girl is just as smart, participates more and, more or less, rolls her eyes at the boy. After a little break, I have two little dudes - maybe four or so...one of whom is named Shogo Togo. If you find me a better name than that, I'll give you a cookie. Actually I will probably just say that your name is not nearly as cool, feel bad about offering and then rejecting your attempt at the cookie and mail a cookie to you. I suppose it works out nicely if you share a kickass name.

After Shogo, there is a four student class with a hyper girl named Nene. Even though she's super-smart, all I can think of when I see her is Denver Nugget center Nene Hilario -

Once that class concludes I am feeling pretty genki and amped up for the rest of the day - and then I am hit with the class of five insane girls. Individually four of them are really smart and will actively participate...but once they're interacting with each other, all bets are off! They'll either completely silent and unresponsive or they'll be excitable but fight with each other - but in a playful way...for instance, they will laugh and whip bean bags at each other. I haven't figured out girls at any age.

So not only am I left lethargic after that class, but I am ready for drinking. Fortunately or, perhaps, unfortunately my co-worker is always amenable to that suggestion. Tonight we had a few at a little izakaya (Japanese version of tapas) and then went to the foreigner bar. They are not hot-blooded. Anyone get that?

Let me tell you about my weekend. My blog entries seem to indicate that I am a drunken fool all of the time. While I cannot dispute the 'fool' part of that, I don't drink THAT much here. But, that said, I drank to excess on Saturday night. Beer pong will serve beautifully as a conduit between American and Japanese drinking culture, I needed something else to supplement my drinking time and the power hour was that alternative. Whoa, I use bigger words whilst inebriated. For those unfamiliar, a power hour is basically taking a shot of beer each minute for an hour. The alcohol consumption is rough for that hour but the killer of the power hour is the amount of air you swallow...so the key to survival is burping. I am skilled in this art. Anyways, we made some changes to the standard power hour...we took two shots of beer for each song on a 38 track, 75 minute kids' cd that we use in class each day. And part of the idea was to act out the appropriate actions dictated in the song. That night I discovered that karaoke was not the only way to end a night and consider it great. Nope, apparently you can add drunk-dialing your grandparents. Sorry Gom and Pop but I was just not sober when I called. After I called Gom and Pop, I tried calling my parents...got Mort on the phone and he told me he wouldn't have known I was drunk if I didn't tell him so that's nice. You know, right now...my left armpit smells a little better than the right (there you are, Aubrey).

Moving on, after a Sunday of unimportance a gaggle of us met at the castle for...I don't really know what - a gaijin convention? First we broke out some sidewalk chalk and drew on the sidewalk of the castle. This, predictably, was not received well. Some of my friends made nice drawings of animals...my lack of artistic ability combined with my six year old sense of humor took over and my contribution was to ensure each animal was pooping. Thanks Mom - for both of those traits! Well, the castle protectors approached and asked if we were the defacement culprits. Their language was more simplified - "You animals?" Point taken...and we cleaned our chalk. Upon finishing, we got high fives from the men in uniform. To quote IAABP co-founder Mike, "You know, it's just kinda fun to get in trouble in Japan." The night wound down and I went to find my bike....and, no bike. A lot of Japanese bikes have locks built around the back wheel that you unlock with keys. Stupidly I left my keys in the lock - not thinking anyone would even be around...and, even further, it's Japan - they are not really thief types...except when it comes to bikes, I guess. Ok, the bike is crappy, so that being stolen wasn't gigantic but my house keys being attached to the same key-ring was a bit of a problem. After spending the night at Brenna's, I went to her balcony and discovered that she has an emergency ladder that goes directly to...my balcony!! So I lowered that ladder and was able to get to my apartment. Maybe this wasn't MacGyver because it was just a ladder and I followed directions, but I felt pretty adventurous and proud.

The remainder of the weekend wasn't too eventful but I was told by IAABP co-founder Mike that our attendance has been requested in Kobe for a beer pong event on Sept 14th. To make things better, we really have no idea who invited us. A friend of our's met someone who visited a hospital in Kobe and told the nurses about our exploits and got them interested enough to want us to bring our show on the road. Worldwide expansion is underway! In the upcoming weeks, you'll read about whatever dumb things we do at the final Himeji beer garden event on Sept 7th and then the trip to Kobe on the 14th. Please stay tuned and comment away...let me know where ya at!!




Four of the Crazy Five - at their calmest
Matt-sensei as an Anime character
The Nene that is not in my 6-7 Tuesday class.

Population/Stuff/Chicago

POPULATION, STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE AND YOU KNOW FROM YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO IF....

Here's something many of you may not know about me...and why would you - it's pretty boring but I am fascinated by population. There's not really much else to it other than I am curious how different places are populated - most notably, I've been curious about Japan's population versus the United States. For the most part, the city sizes in the United States and Japan are fairly similar...the US makes up their population with mid-size and smaller cities. Japan densely packs their bigger cities and the rest is fairly desolate...mainly because of mountains and other inhabitable lands.

Total Populations:
Japan - 127,433,484
US - 304,875,000

Cities with over 1 million people (# of cities, total population of those cities, avg size per city)
Japan - 12 cities - pop. 28,362,994 - 2,363,582 per city
US - 9 cities - pop. 23,497,856 - 2,610,872 per city

Himeji ranks #25 in city population in Japan at 535,756 which would fall between Las Vegas (28) and Portland (29) in the US. Boston is #25 in America with 559,034, so not much of a significant difference.

To show the drastic difference - Himeji's population accounts for 0.004% of Japan's total population. The same percentage in America would yield 1,129,500 people - just below Dallas and San Diego. Tokyo is Japan's largest city (8,717,529) and it's fairly similar to the US's largest city, New York (8,143,197). New York is just 2.67% of America's population - whereas Tokyo is 6.8% of Japan's.

Japan has 227 cities with populations over 100,000 - America has 239.

Meaningless information basically shows what everyone knows - Japanese mainly live in really, really packed cities but I like the data.

I think I want to visit the top 25 most populated cities in both countries, so for the US - New York, LA, Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, Phoenix, San Antonio, San Diego, Dallas, San Jose, Detroit, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Columbus, Austin, Memphis, Baltimore, Fort Worth, Charlotte, El Paso, Milwaukee, Seattle, Boston. LEFT TO VISIT: 3/25 San Antonio, Jacksonville, El Paso

And Japan - Tokyo, Yokohama, Osaka, Nagoya, Sapporo, Kobe, Kyoto, Fukuoka, Kawasaki, Saitama, Hiroshima, Sendai, Kitakyushu, Chiba, Sakai, Niigata, Hamamatsu, Shizuoka, Sagamihara, Okayama, Kumamoto, Funabashi, Hachioji, Himeji. LEFT TO VISIT: 17/25 Yokohama, Nagoya, Sapporo, Kawasaki, Saitama, Hiroshima, Sendai, Kitakyushu, Chiba, Sakai, Niigata, Hamamatsu, Shizuoka, Sagamihara, Kumamoto, Funabashi, Hachioji

One of my favorite websites to gaze at is http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

Here are some I find hilarious and make me realize my whiteness - Facebook, statistics (see above), comparing people to Hitler, menus with no decimal places (Gobel!!!), Grammar, The Ivy League, New Balance Shoes, Music Piracy, San Francisco, Having gay friends, Musical comedy, bottles of water, Oscar parties, gentrification, study abroad, being the only white person around, Mos Def, Standing still at concerts, knowing what's best, bicycles, Japan, Sarah Silverman, living by the water, Whole Foods, Sushi, Indie music, Apple products, Arrested Development, 80s night, David Sedaris, Microbreweries, Traveling, Having black friends, Asian girls, Wes Anderson movies and my favorite, Assists.
You
Read that site if you haven't already - it's hilarious

Lastly, I saw a facebook page dedicated to the idea of "You Know You're From Chicago If..." It's a long list so I wanted to check it out. Here are the ones I found true and hilarious and then the list I didn't understand and disagree with:

Hilarious and true to me -
You say 'wanna go with?' when you mean 'do you want to come with me?' -- (didn't really know that was a Chicago thing)
You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays
You know why they call it "the Windy City"
You've never been to Springfield
You know a good gyros joint
You know when the last the Cubs won a pennant
The 'Living room' is called the 'front room'
You don't pronounce the 's' at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes.
You refer to anything south of I-80 as 'Southern Illinois'
You refer to Lake Michigan as 'The Lake'
You know the phone number of Empire Carpet
You wear gym shoes, not sneakers
You are STILL a Bulls fan
You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate
You've taken the Red Line past the point where white people get off and black people get on - and vice versa
You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian or in-line skater on the lakefront path
You know the significance of State and Madison
When you refer to LSD, you don't necessarily mean the drug
School can get cancelled due to both extreme heat AND cold
You still claim that the Sears Tower is the tallest skyscraper in the world
Peter. Francis, Geraci.
You would prefer if New York just kept Macy's

True but not really me-
You can use two or three Daleyisms in context
You can imitate the mayor's whine
You say Chicaaaago
You think going to a Bears game in single digit temps with a wind off the lake is fun
Da is a proper definite article
You expect corruption in local politics
You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20,000 people that followed you
You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom
You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears and anyone who beats the Packers
You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll on your 45-minute car ride

No Clue what these mean at all-
You know exactly how many cars are 'legally' allowed to turn left after the light turns red (it's more than zero???)
You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck (who is Lil Louis and why does he have parties?)
Your favorite melody to hum is "bang, bang, bang - skeet, skeet, skeet" (I don't think they're referring to Lil Jon)
You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue (What!??!)
You think kicking it outside of White Castle's parking lot is the "Freak Nik"
You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.
You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park
You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts" (where does this come from??? I know no one that says this and I've met a number of stupid people - even they don't pluralize stores)

Too Many Titles to Choose From

I thought I had a few good titles picked out for this entry but I couldn't pick just one. I've returned from my whirlwind week-long trip around Japan. Rather than just rattling off stories and including pictures, I'll break it down in short version and then post pictures with explanations.

After seeing "The Dark Knight" on Saturday (bitchin!!), I spent my last night in my own bed for a while. Sunday morning, Lauren and I headed to Kobe (36 minutes by train) to meet Mariah (Hiroshima by way of Oxford, England) and TJ (Kobe via Los Angeles). Upon arrival in Kobe, we learned the bus was sold out for the night but we got seats reserved on a bus from Osaka to Tokyo. Kobe to Osaka (15 minutes by train) and we spent a few hours wandering the areas near the Shin-Osaka station before boarding the overnight bus to Tokyo (8 hrs and 45 minutes). As far as buses go, I was pretty comfortably except I was in the front row and right behind a wall so while I was able to spread out because no one was next to me, I had no leg room and slept like a spider....or someone who sleeps with their legs spread in different directions (insert your own joke or whatever here). Eventually we got to Tokyo - kinda sweaty and tired and had to roam the area for about 7-8 hours waiting for check-in at the hotel. That could've been better but that's the price you pay for cheap travel. For the next three days, we were on a busy jaunt through as much of Tokyo as we could see. Thursday morning, I took the shinkansen to Kyoto to meet Susan (Tokuyama via Portsmouth, Virginia) and Brian (Hammamatsu via Sacramento). I came home Thursday night to have a rest and then went back to Kyoto on Friday. I am done with the travel for the remainder of my vacation but it was well worth it. Here are pictures and writings. I'd love to hear from you -- please, please I am a desperate person.

You may recognize the cutout - it's Bruce Lee at the Bruce Lee shop in Kobe's Chinatown.  You may remember it from my mug in there a few weeks back.  This is a prettier face - my friend, Mariah.
"Please do it at the beach."  I didn't and continue to not understand what that means considering we were in a Tokyo train station nowhere near the beach.  I can tell you that we spent three days in Tokyo and did not see anyone shoved into the train and no one severed at the midsection - which this picture leads me to believe is a common occurrence.  We did rush for a train one time and Mariah was the only member of our six person crew to get on.  It could not have happened to a better person.  She had a worried and befuddled look on her face and we could see her mouthing "No!!!!" in her proper English voice.  We were able to communicate the stop she should exit at so it all worked out beautifully.
Our first destination in Tokyo was a ward called Akihabara, aka "Electronic City".  I had no clue what to expect from that name but I thought it was intriguing.  It wasn't...for me, anyways.  It was techie-nerd dreamland.  Akihabara is block after block of electronic stores advertising and selling the same things.  Since a few of my friends were interested, I went along and didn't bitch when they comparison shopped for things they'd never buy.  I didn't bitch because our next activity was finding a maid cafe to eat and get drinks.  Just as it sounds, there are places, I was told, that the waitresses are dressed as maids and refer to you as "master".  I am usually not the type for places like this but something piqued my interest so we set out for the cafe.  The first place had maids alright - but the place was tiny and I guess it was themed because for a fee you could get a private lesson on how to play darts.  I know, it seems like an odd draw for the customer but I am not the expert.  I'd come to find out that this costly lesson was nothing more than playing darts with a kinda good looking girl in a maid outfit - they didn't flirt, they didn't bend over explicitly, they didn't even let the dudes win.  It was Hooters, only seedier.  The second place promised pancakes...but once we got there, it was essentially a diner with some maids.  Needless to say, this was not all it was cracked up to be.  The first place was good for 4-5 screwdrivers so I was buzzed enough to not let it get me down.  On with the journey...

I had been told that the place foreigners go in Tokyo to meet girls looking for gaijin is Roppongi.  So...to Roppongi.  If you'd have told me there would be a giant iron statue of an animal, I would have picked cougar because that seemed the most likely for the reputation of the area.  But, no...spider.  
We made our way to a bar on the main drag of Roppongi.  This place was an English pub which offered a nice selection of beers and other drinks, including margaritas....1000 yen margaritas (about $10).  Be careful what you order in Japan because it's never really what you expect.  There is no picture to capture this the streets of Roppongi reminded me of Vegas.  You know those probably homeless guys that slap cards for prostitutes or strip clubs??  They're in Tokyo too.  These guys were clearly from the Caribbean.  How does this work?  Is it cheaper to fly over some different islanders?  I don't get it but there are hundreds of really dark island guys lining the streets trying to get you into their clubs.  As I walked down the street, one of them approached my friend, Adam.  Adam asked "what's this?"  Islander response - "Titties!"

I'll give it to them, it was direct and succinct marketing.  But for those who need a little more clarification, the business card he gave to Adam was black and written in white was, "Our titties are both luscious and vibrating!"  Even though the prospect of vibrating titties was tempting, we elected to pass.

Also, earlier this evening, I discovered that the dictionary I bought at home is perhaps a bit ghetto.  Not only are there misdefined words, but they have some odd words translated, including 'gonorrhea'.  I took advantage of this and would occasionally ask Adam

Matt:  Adam, do you have gonorrhea? (Adam, rimbyo motte imasuka?)

Adam:  Perhaps (tabun)

If you want to ask your friends...the phonetic breakdown is something like this - deem-be-oh   moe-tay-mas-ka?
I don't end good nights without karaoke.  This is my new friend, Akane, beautifully smiling while Jeff is wailing something awesome.  It was this karaoke experience that continued my fun process of changing words in songs to add humor.  We'd changed "you" to "Jew", starting with "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse back in the day.  And now, we've started adding in "Batman" to random lyrics and seeing what happens.  Our particular favorite was from the song "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams...or rather "Everything Batman do, Batman do it for you"...we elected to not change the verb tense and I am happy with the choice.
Mos Burger says "Hamburger is my life." and I could not agree more.
This is me getting Crunky.  I wish I could write about the massive amounts of joy the cashier of this AM/PM brought me.  He is a teddy bear of a man who's likely flamboyantly gay and each time he rung us up, would say "Arigato gozaimas" with the most perfect gay, soft and elongated (hehe - funny descriptors given what I perceived to be his sexuality) tone.  You'd have to hear it to appreciate it.
The next day, we woke up as early as we could...maybe 11 and headed on the train to Ebisu and the Yebisu beer museum, garden, all around fantastic place.  Not only was it drink-happy, but it was actually a gorgeous area and, for once, this time of the day was not ungodly hot.

I bet they've only seen foreigners doing this 290383094820935823 times.
500 Yen for the sampler of four beers..much better than the damn 1000 Yen margarita.  This is a little deceiving because Akane does not drink and just used Jeff's beer for the picture.  It's a good thing too because without her, we would not have done half of what we did in Tokyo.  She may be the sweetest person I've ever met - or, just a regular Japanese girl.  I'm not totally sure she's not a very polite robot.

I know the image I had of Tokyo before coming here, and it was this...Shibuya Square.  "Lost in Translation" was shot mainly here and it is the biggest intersection in the world.  Times Square looks relaxing in comparison.  I wish I could've captured the swell of people better but it was like midnight and I wasn't about to go into stores to take pictures outside.  Trust me, it was crazy.
Mariah posing in front of the mass.  Actually in this picture, you can see plenty of Japanese but Tokyo was littered with foreigners.  I was partially glad for this because they aren't generally the socks/sandals/giant camera weirdos that loiter in Himeji.  But while I was glad, it was also kinda disappointing.  The entire time I was in Tokyo, I never actively thought I was in Japan.  I get by normally with minimal Japanese and a lot of gestures.  In Tokyo...everything is in English.  I wouldn't say most of the people spoke English but they knew their menus or products so everything was easy to attain.  For all this, Tokyo felt like a densely crowded Los Angeles....lots of cool stuff but not typical Japan.

It was like LA.  In LA, you may find Axl Rose.  In Tokyo, you find a little Japanese man pretending to be Axl Rose....even down to the Guns n Roses t-shirt.  Damn self-promotion.

Tokyo Rail Map - thank you Akane for being a savior.

This was my favorite part of Tokyo.  Even though we'd been told to arrive around 6am, we decided to do lunch at Tsukiji Market.  This is the place in Tokyo where all of the fresh fish is delivered and auctioned in the early morning.  They have a little marketplace with a handful of sushi places.  We managed to find one place that wasn't terribly packed and get lunch.  I wouldn't say that you would love this food no matter what.  I like sushi....and if you like sushi, I've never had anything that even came close to this.  It was amazing and relatively cheap!!  I finally know now what to compare sashimi to.
Me, Adam, Akane and Jeff jammed into the sushi place
I don't really take a lot of scenery pictures because I don't have fond memories of things without people being involved but some things are worth it.  We took this shot from the largest ferris wheel in the world on the manmade island of Odaiba.  I really liked these buildings - and I cannot tell you why.  The only bad part of the ferris wheel ride was that the weather was overcast and that prevented us from seeing Mt. Fuji.  I tried yelling "Where are you, Fuji-San?" but it was for naught.

I can't really say much about the next few photos except that they were taken in the amusement park area in Odaiba...and it's a freakin' trained monkey doing tricks!!!  I don't know my primates well enough and this may be a baboon...but for the sake of the story, it's a monkey.  And it's a monkey doing tricks!!!   It's been a Japan goal to see monkeys and I stumbled upon a gold mine.  The next step is to get to the monkey shrine and get my picture sitting five feet from a monkey and looking at it peripherally while it looks back directly at me.  And I will accomplish this goal.







For our last night in Tokyo, we stayed in a capsule hotel.  Of course, I'd been really curious about the capsule hotel because of Seinfeld.  I assumed it would be somewhere between a giant chest of drawers and a morgue.  Honestly, it was much more comfortable than I thought.  There is plenty or room and I liked the confinement.  If it wasn't for the strong smell of manstink and the temperature of the capsule overnight, I would prefer it to regular hotels.  As it was, sweaty travelers gather in these man-kennels and there is no air freshener strong enough to combat this.  All in all, it was fine and cheap so I'd definitely do it again.

This is Jeff and our hallway of capsules.
Here...another scenery shot.  I do actually go to historical places and really enjoy it but you will not be seeing much of that because I don't find it interesting to write about.  Sorry, I'd rather make stupid observations about inconsequential things.   But this is the Kinkaku-ji Temple ("Golden Temple") in Kyoto.

Birthday boi

My entrance into my late 20's started around 930am when my friends returned from their all-night trip to Osaka and rang my doorbell. When I picked up the phone, they exhaustedly sang 'Happy Birthday' as I rubbed the sleep out of eyes. Thanks Matt, Brenna and Luci! Later on that afternoon, I went to lunch with the two walking zombies (Brenna and Luci) and Lauren. I had some prep work to do for my evening, so Lauren and I hit a few stores around town - including a trip to the cell phone store where I got a new iPhone! The cute cell phone worker who speaks really good English actually sang part of Happy Birthday to me before I felt embarrassed for her and let her stop. Since I asked her to sing, I shouldn't have stopped her - but I didn't think she'd do it. She's either hilarious and awesome or a typical Japanese worker that will do just about anything. I appreciated it either way.

Lauren and I were herded onto the train a few hours later on our way to a nearby town called Kakogawa for a fireworks show. There have been yukata festivals all over the place this weekend and I've still yet to understand their purpose so I consider them celebrations of my birth. So, I'll formally thank the Himeji proper area for such a warm reception. Oh, what I would have paid for anything to be 'warm' over the 'miserably hot' that is everyday. Not only was Kakogawa miserably hot, there were about 8 trillion people in attendance and we sat on a steep hill - focusing more on not avalanching through people than on the fireworks. All that aside, the fireworks were nice and the whole experience was cool.

Mike, Jennifer and I made our way to a Kakogawa bar called The End for some drinks. Upon the arrival of my long island iced tea (bad move), I struck up...well, not a conversation per se but a muttering of Englese (oooh, that was meant to be English/Japanese but if I make my own language, that totally works too) with a girl in the bar because it was her birthday as well. I know nothing about her except that her birthday is August 3, 1982. Once the long island iced tea joined the alcohol party in my stomach, it was time to begin my mission. I bought a polo shirt earlier in the evening with the idea to have "It's My Birthday. Please give me a kiss" written in Japanese on it and see if I could get strangers to kiss and sign my shirt. The very nice lady next to us, Nozomi, wrote for us and made the first kiss and then forced her brother to do the same. I worked my way around the bar getting a few girls to kiss the shirt and yelling the little Japanese I know for the entertainment of the locals so that they would kiss my shirt. It worked and I am proud of myself.

After the bar, we cabbed it back to the train station and headed back towards Himeji for the typical end of night activity - karaoke. I've had more impressive performances in a karaoke room but I was wasted and focused on pretty much everything else. All told, my birthday ended at about 6am on August 4th but I believe your birthday doesn't end until you're asleep. So I got my sleep, woke up and was punished for my night's behavior with a nice wicked headache - I called my parents and got on with my day...here's to another year of getting older - and some pictures.


I guess we're working from the end of the night back. Brenna and Luci lovin
Hakura gettin some
Sayaka taking the firt plunge
Lauren and Katsuya
Nozomi and her mastery
Probably the sexiest picture - Jennifer and me
8 trillion Kakogawans
Oh, Japanese train stations

While I'm Thinking About It

While I'm Thinking About It

I had a free hour today so I sat outside and kinda just took some notes about what I saw - and thought back to some things that have stuck out to me in my time here. They are not in a real structure so I'll go in list-style. By no means is this all I've noticed but it's all I wrote down in my finite note-taking time.

- Diarrhea and the discussion of such is really not a big deal here. In America, it's almost a taboo discussion of what comes out of your business end...unless you're mentally an adolescent - happily, I am. Anyways, I have heard this mentioned a handful of times in regular conversation and it's still a little startling. At home, the very mention of diarrhea is met with some sort of reaction - a scowl, a pained awkwardness or a laugh...not in Japan, it just keeps flowing (pun intended!!!)

- There is no such thing as walking in a straight line here. People weave all over the place. It wouldn't be so noticeable, except you share walkways with other people and bicycles and, sometimes, cars. I'd liken it to the American grocery store at 2pm when the old ladies take control of the 6 ft wide aisle with their 1.5 ft frames...how does this happen?! So I thought you could empathize...until I went to the grocery store here around 2pm. Never fear, even halfway around the world, old ladies own the supermarket. Supermarkets here are much much smaller than in America...not only in sheer size but the aisles are narrower and sections are totally miniscule. The very small area for trafficking combines miserably with the old ladies moving in half time compared to American old ladies...and they weave twice as much!! It's maddening...there's no better way to describe it. When you have a certain amount of time to get in, get food, get out, eat, run some errands and be back at work - the last thing I need is to politely tip-toe behind a lady and then see an opening, go for it, and see the old lady weave to close my space and I have to strangely sidle past her while she curses me in her vacant stare.

- Bicycles are, by far, the most utilized transportation. People ride around on their bicycles that look like they were made in 1965 through the middle of the general population. I've recently started riding through crowds. At first, I was (and still am) fearful that I'll run directly into someone but it hasn't happened yet. If you've ever ridden your bike through the crowds at North Ave. Beach on a summer day - it's like that, only everywhere...all of the time. I could write for a long time about the biking here but I'll move along.

- Japan does not have many all-you-need stores a la Target or Wal-Mart. There are specialized stores for everything. I've bought envelopes at an envelope shop...and ridiculous socks at a sock shop. There will come a point where I want to be able to buy a tent, cologne, a magazine and an area rug from one place...but not yet.

- I think this applies mainly to my city but some of the tourists that wander this area are really weird looking. There are your standard socks and sandals weirdos...and then there are socks, sandals, giant cargo shorts, oddly-fitted shirted people who always have a professional camera hanging from their necks. My city has the most famous, oldest and most beautiful castle in Japan so it attracts 'history buff types' and we all know what kind of gems that brings. For the most part, people come and leave in the same day because there's not too much to see. That's a blessing and a curse at the same time. You get rid of the weirdos at night but different but equal weirdos come the next day - neverending cycle.

- It is considered very rude to walk around in public and drink or eat anything....but drinking alcohol in public is legal. I know they're not the same thing and you can very well sit down and drink without being given an evil eye but it's a strange paradox.

- At some point soon, I'll write much more about this but the English here is not only absurd but it's everywhere!!

- People that dress in what you would consider standard in America look out of place in Japan.

- There is way too much smoking going on here,,for a country that kinda prides itself on cleanliness and health, I've seen way more people smoking than I have at home but maybe I've just been paying more attention.

- It's not been spelled out for me but the darker the person, the more they are considered a lower class. Knowing that, people go to some pretty extreme measures to prevent the sun from touching their skin. Not only do they ride bicycles with umbrellas in the 90 degree, cloudless weather but women are out with elbow length gloves. They look to be made of silk and they have to be so hot! Most women riding bicycles have some combination of the umbrella, arm sock, canvas attached to their handlebars to put their hands in or giant plastic visors. What a sun of a bitch!

- The people here seem naturally ambivalent....towards everything! They wander around without appearing like they have any kind of plan for what they're doing. I'm willing to bet there have been many people who've gotten lost because they've zoned out during their walk and did not care one bit about a destination. Sometimes I am curious if they're just zombies.

- Squatting is popular. People don't just sit; they squat. It must be a form of punishment for dishonor or something, because why would you choose the least comfortable position? Yes, I know they probably feel it's comfortable. The man who fixed my bike tire just squatted down and repaired the tire for about ten minutes and did not need to stretch once - damn inflexible American body.

- This new thought of mine is gathering steam with each passing example - most old Japanese men do look somewhat like Mr. Miyagi

- I have 48 students...three of whom have names that end in consonants - and all of them end in 'n'.

- The morning of the aforementioned bike repair, I was late to work because I could not tell the man I needed to leave and that I would come back for the bike. So I waited and got to work four minutes late. I didn't miss a class or anything, just late. I think it would have been better received if I would have shot someone.

- All of the Japanese teachers in my school are remarkably composed and proper...until a bug appears. Holy shit!

- Fanny packs are still OK here...by the way, did you know that the word 'fanny' is worse than the c-word (rhymes with hunt) in England.

- Japan fashion looks like Urban Outfitters blew up and everything landed on everyone

- The few people I've talked to about Hiroshima have cited the wrongs of Japan's government beforehand and how much was changed following the bombings...definitely did not expect that perspective.

- A few food thoughts - Ramen is wonderful here...wonderful! Hamburgers have a bun, hamburgs do not. Izakaya is the Japanese equivalent of tapas. Okonomiyaki (literally meaning 'anything you want...grilled) would be a great drunk food. Picking from a fish and eating is great! I remember Kristin's family parties and being frightened of giant gutted fish and people digging away...well, no longer, it's carnivorously fun!

- Japanese really want lighter hair...the more they try for blond, the more orange it gets. There are also products to make your eyes more round.

- Everything here opens at 9 or 10 and closes at about 8pm. Starbucks hours are 10am-8pm...except McDonald's but I've explained that McDonald's is its own universe, not subject to regular earthly customs.

- People will rarely sit next to foreigners on trains. They'd rather stand.

- Pizza costs about $30 for a medium from Pizza Hut and movies cost $18 at the theatre - needless to say, I've not ordered a pizza or seen a movie...until The Dark Knight comes!

- Random porn on TV does not get old - it constantly surprises me

- The drunken Asian red face is not just a few random people - it's a pandemic.

- When you laugh at foreigners and wonder if they know you're laughing at them....they do. When Japanese people giggle, I know who they're laughing at.

Tokuyama/Fukuoka

After teaching eight classes on Saturday night, I grabbed some dinner with Brenna before my train to visit my friend from training, Susan. Unfortunately I had to leave Brenna alone in the restaurant to ensure I didn't get stranded. Since she's convinced that her life will be spent as a spinster, she got some valuable experience. I decided to take the Shinkansen to Tokuyama because it's the easiest option..even if that means it's the most expensive. Everything about the Shink is amazing - it's remarkably smooth and goes faster than anything aside from an airplane I've ever been on. The one drawback is that the cheapest seats are in specific cars and they allow smoking in the non-reserved seats. One thing I wish for Japan is that they'd take dental care a little more seriously. Beautiful women everywhere and some of the most rancid mouths I've ever seen. Can they supplant the English for that stereotype?

For the most part, the train ride was comfortable and relaxing except that I am still too frightened that I'll fall asleep and end up in North Korea or something. I changed trains in Hiroshima and ended up in Tokuyama around 9:50...total of one hour and fifty minutes to travel 338 km (202 miles / 110 minutes - 18 minutes transfer = 92 minutes = 137 mph with stops factored in). Once in Tokuyama, I took a cab from the station to a cafe to meet Susan and some of her co-workers. In my haste and hurry to exit the cab, I grabbed all of my stuff - except for my phone. Two minutes later, I noticed. Normally I would've panicked but I have insurance and the phone is more luxury than necessity here. But I did try calling my phone and having the cafe waitress speak to the man who answered but it ended unsuccessfully. After witnessing my friend lose his wallet at a giant beach party only to have it returned to his office about 40 miles away, I won't lose hope that the phone shows up at some point. Nonetheless I have an errand to run.

Saturday night was a night filled with, what else - karaoke. This was a little different because it was just Susan and me and after eventually surviving the communication battle, we got our room, free ice cream bar and five hours of unadulterated singing fun! I firmly believe this about my singing - generally, not as horrible as most people (still really bad but not the worst) and I have a very very small range where I sound almost decent. After getting home around sunlight, we caught a few hours of sleep before slowly making our way to the train station for the three hour Shink to Fukuoka. Fukuoka is the 7th largest city in Japan...and, like me, you've probably never heard of it. I have been trying to think of a way to describe why it was so captivating and interesting...but I can't, so take my word for it. We spent about two hours wandering around with a crude map of landmarks attempting to find the hostel. A map of landmarks could be very useful but when the landmarks include convenience stores (of which there are 2093893048029384 in this country), not much assistance. Eventually we arrived at the hostel only to learn there weren't enough beds. We consulted a guidebook and found the most reasonably priced hotel option. Thankfully Susan had had enough of walking and sweat soaking everything so we cabbed it over there and got a room.

Our primary destination for the trip was mercifully near the hotel; an outdoor mall type deal called Canal City - which, semi-predictably, had a canal running through the middle. Just by itself, the place was beautiful but it came with a certain, indescribable Japanese flair. The next hour or so we wandered around what I guess was the red light district of the city looking for a place to eat. We settled on what we'd been searching for - a ramen shop that was just a stove, counter, and stools on the sidewalk. Each area of Japan claims special ramen types - I am not sure what the specific regional difference Fukuoka offered but it was great either way. The night ended fairly early and we embarked on a cheaper but doubly long train trip home the next morning.

All in all, it was an awesome trip - I say that more because we didn't *see* all that much but enough to say that we loved the city and it's definitely a place I'll be going back to.