Halloween-mon

I made a promise to Auntie Frizz before I left that I would look after and put her beanie and rasta dread wig to use. Proudly, I've kept my word and her hat/wig combo has become an international symbol of greatness! My friend, Mike, and I decided to collaborate on our Halloween costume this year. You see, Himeji is the owner of Japan's most worthless job (as voted on by people I don't know on a site and poll I don't know) - and that is a crossing guard. While I can advocate the usage of crossing guards on some streets in Himeji, we have guards manning streets where nary a bicyclist travels within a four hour period. But, rest assured, when that bike comes down the street, Mr. Crossing Guard snaps into action - lighted baton in hand and he stops the imaginary traffic so the bicyclist can proceed undeterred. The picture is a bit outdated on this link but so is the job I guess.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.quirkyjapan.or.tv/images/useless2.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.quirkyjapan.or.tv/useless.htm&usg=__uTYQQMVy6_evpOzouubZMeqGpEg=&h=167&w=209&sz=34&hl=en&start=12&sig2=GxDXl0goII4QpPqVY30Jwg&um=1&tbnid=F777XggHPi_byM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=106&ei=fIUlSbnYH4K0kAXg_KQe&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhimeji%2Bcrossing%2Bguards%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

Mike and I managed to find most the necessary clothes and props to become an unofficial crossing guard at a Workman shop in the burbs. What we couldn't find were hats. I offered my blond wig to Mike - the very same one that served me well as cracked out Lindsay Lohan last year. He declined and went as a straight-laced caucasian enforcer. I opted for the rasta wig.

Before heading out to the Gaijin bars for the evening, we made a pit stop at the bank. While I waited for the others to get their cash, I saw one of my Japanese teachers walking down the arcade on her phone. I was geared up - I only had one choice...clear the path from any transportation harm that could come her way. Stepping out near her and waving her along only prompted her to move away from me and pretend I didn't exist. Mind you, all she saw was some idiot dressed in a blue jumpsuit with a rasta wig. Clearly she didn't know it was so I yelled, "Hiroko-sensei!!!!" - I really wish I had a camera ready for her reaction. The Japanese know Halloween and what it's all about but it's not to the point where they expect ridiculousness. She got it - her jaw practically hit the floor and she couldn't say anything. It turned out this would be the highlight of my evening.

The next few hours were spent drinking...a lot. At random breaks from drinking, Mike and I would hit the streets and help the helpless cross the dangerous car-less avenues. We were not thanked - but it's a thankless job that someone has to man while the actual guards don't start for another night. Some people recognized and appreciated the costume right away. Some people remained confused, even after an explanation. I was discussing Halloween costumes with friends beforehand and I've come to realize that I enjoy having something only a few people get. Otherwise, I feel it's boring. I'm out to entertain myself and people like me (see Dead Dale).

Before the night got hazy, our group meandered between two bars and a club. At some point, I was coerced into drinking something called a "mind eraser". That should tell you enough. After rotating through bars and clubs, I excused myself to throw up. Following that vomit session, another came soon after it in a park nearby. Let me say one thing about my drunken antics - I am the most considerate and articulate drunk. I formally excuse myself and declare my intentions clearly and succinctly. I leave the area people congregate and I don't make a lot of noise. I return to the group and don't make a dramatic show. The night ended at a club I'd never seen before and haven't seen since. I walked in and immediately knew I hated it, sat outside for ten minutes and walked home. Granted, I wasn't 100% sure which direction I lived - so I picked one and committed. Thankfully it was correct and I made it to bed around 330.

Five and a half hours of sleep wasn't enough time to counteract the alcohol in my system (Mike's either - I'd find out later). My Saturdays consist of eight lessons normally but this was a special day and I only had five - but two of them were in my first two hours, 10 and 11am. Even worse was that the first class was a floor lesson - no tables, young boy. We'll put it this way - I was spinning every time I stood up and felt miserable. We did some coloring and other assorted grounded activities. This day was not shaping up to be happy. My 11:00 was going better because I was able to teach while sitting in a chair and not making my stomach more and more pissed off at me with every motion.

But then....

With about ten minutes left in the lesson, I felt the saliva in the back of my mouth. Ohhhh, we know what comes next. I ran out of the room and downstairs...threw up four times, quickly gathered myself and returned to finish the lesson. That's a puke and rally. My hangover was conquered and the little dude learned English - in a really good lesson actually (well, aside from the three minute 'teacher gotta expel the demons' hiatus). All in all, it was a successful Halloween. Here are some pictures:

Sword fight.
After my baton was broken...noooo!!!!!!!
Tell me that's not the creepiest costume ever - I have zero idea what it is.
Sw
Crossing guard, Spiderman and I think Megumi is a witch but one can never be sure.
Sitcom coming soon....

What's that word for what the written piece is called??

So I guess there is a new president-elect. If you think I'll go off about how suddenly proud I am to be an American, you probably don't know me very well. While I do believe that Obama's victory is good for America socially, I have no idea what it means beyond that. Unexpectedly, on the day he was elected, a lot of my students' parents commented on it. Well, they mostly just said "Obama, president America." I've discovered in the past few weeks that my students know who Obama is but I don't think they know of him as anything more than a popular American who now leads the country. Well, I'd put myself in that category if I thought about it. Although I was aware I'd get the reaction I ultimately got, I decided one day to explain the electoral process to one of the my adult students. She was nothing short of totally confounded. The predictable question came, "So, the person with more votes could lose?"

People in Obama, Japan were pretty happy - http://jp.youtube.com/results?search_query=obama%2C+japan&search_type=&aq=f

Sunday night I took a nine hour bus ride to Tokyo to visit my friend, Merrily. As you may recall, this was my second bus trip up to Tokyo. This one was met with a few more challenges. The first trip was during the summer so I needed air conditioning nailing me or I'd sweat myself to death. Other than that, the trip was painless. Three factors were making this nightmarish. First, I was in an aisle seat. I hate aisle seats in airplanes and I have discovered that I also hate them on buses. I don't fall asleep sitting straight up - and when there is a bus of pitch black silence, there is nothing else to but sleep or get pissed that you can't sleep. Another factor was that I had a neighbor on this ride. On the first Tokyo run, I was in a solo seat and I could contort myself to a relatively comfortable position. My neighbor was not terrible but he did smoke and smelled as such. He also tended to get a little close to sleeping on my shoulder. From what Mom tells me, I slept on some girl's shoulder on an airplane when I was a young chap. So I know it's the pot calling the kettle black but it was creepy. Don't people have some kind of internal monitor for these things? "Um, I am getting close to making a stranger relationship into something with a little more meaning." The last and worst of the second bus additions was a digital clock at the front of the bus. We left at 11:30pm and were scheduled to arrive near 9:00am. There aren't many more disheartening things than sleeping during a long trip and waking up to find that only 20 minutes had passed. I went through that cycle about six times on this ride. All in all, it ended up well...I made it to Shinjuku a little early and unlike the first trip, I didn't feel like death warmed over because of the summer heat.

After hanging out in Merr's hotel for a while, we went to Tsukiji for sushi - this is one of the must go-to's in Japan for me. Tsukiji is the area where fish is auctioned off each morning so the places nearest to the market have the freshest fish - it's truly amazing. The place Merr and I went to was kaitan sushi (conveyor belt style) - this is only really acceptable in two situations...you are in Tsukiji, Japan and you are trying to set a record for number of plates eaten. Amongst other things, I decided to try this grey/green paste stuff in a roll. Before taking the challenge, I asked the chef what it was - "kanimiso" or "crab brains." After some research, I learned that it was just a concoction of internal crab organs and a little brain. Like most things like this, it's considered something of a delicacy. And, like of most of those things, I don't get it. It tasted like rotting fish and cement. Either way, I tried. With everything I try in Japan - there is one constant...amused locals so while it tasted nasty, I did get sympathy and props for trying from market patrons.

Tsukiji was really my only must-do in Tokyo. The rest of the day, I made suggestions of places we should check out- and we did. Merr's parents met up with us and we explored Shibuya, Shinjuku and Harajuku before having dinner on the 45th floor of Merr's hotel, looking out over Tokyo - absolutely breathtaking. Once the night came, it was time to head back to Himeji. It was a long trip for only a day but it was worth it. On the way home, I stopped at McDonald's near my apartment. While you could argue there is never really a reason to go to McDonald's, I learned that when there is a weird looking foreigner (American) in McDonald's at 1:30am, you should just go home. My second chance came when he asked if I spoke English. Dammit, I do and told him so. He latched on and had me immersed in a conversation I wanted no part of for about 15 minutes before I even got to order. Telling me his life story seemed to be on his agenda. Finally we made it to the present where he asked if I knew any cheap hotels in Himeji. I apologized because I didn't - and wouldn't you know it, he asked to crash on my floor. Let's be clear - I really enjoy helping people but there was absolutely no way this was happening. I expressed my skepticism and countered with, "hey, it's alright man - do you know where I can get a girl for the night?" Well, apparently I now look like a sleaze or a pimp. Do these things happen to other people or am I the only person who seems surprised all of the time?

I saw online that Boyz II Men is coming to Kobe on 12/22!! The first thought that crossed my mind was Dave doing the dance for the "Song for Mama" and I was mentally on board to see the Philly Four - until the price appeared - 50,000 Yen or about $500. That dampened my spirits and I wondered what I'd have to get to justify a $500 ticket. Even though I have no desire for it, the minimum would be a lap dance. I randomly asked my friend, Lianne, the same question and she responded with the same exact answer. This means, a lap dance plus concert is the standard expected from such a lofty ticket price.

Being here so long has its ups and downs when it comes to language. I take about ten Japanese language lessons a month and they are paying off pretty well. The language isn't terribly complicated in structure but there are a ton of ways to the same thing depending on the level of politeness. I figure if I learn the most polite form - things can be altered. Also, there are particles....a lot of particles. The sentence "I went on the bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka and the train from Osaka to Himeji and came home at 3am this morning" would be "Watashi wa shinkansen de Tokyo kara Osaka made to denshu de Osaka kara Himeji made ite asamoi san ji ni kaerimashita." Hmm, maybe the amount isn't too different from English but it seems like it. Ah well, it's coming along and I hope to be able to take a low level fluency test in a few months. On the flipside of that coin, I am forgetting English. It's really astounding how much you rely on constant practice. Even though a majority of my day is speaking and hearing English, my level is dwindling. The English I use in school is always simplified and the English I hear is Engrish - and that turns my English into Engrish at times. I've talked about this with a few friends here and we're all going through the same thing. We forget easy words and catch ourselves omitting articles and things a lot because it's easier to stick with words people need to know in order to communicate. I'll share Susan's story - paraphrased, "I was talking to my dad and I was describing the spice level of something and said 'it has two of those, you know, hollow, chili peppers?' 'Hollow chili peppers?' 'Yeah, you know....pictures of them and they look hollow...I can't think of the word.' 'You mean outlines?' 'Yeah!!! Outlines of chili peppers'."

Despite all that, I am having a great time teaching and a great time in Japan. The time is coming soon to decide whether to extend the contract and it looks like I will...for six months to start. I would like to be emergency teacher - which means simply that I would travel around to all of our schools in Japan and fill in where needed on a temporary basis. It would be a move up in the company and give me the chance to experience more of the country. The other possibility is becoming a trainer but that depends more on the availability of a position. Even if I don't get those chances, I can always stay in Himeji - assuming I am offered an extension. Since my manager volunteered to write me a recommendation, that shouldn't be an issue. If I end up getting the emergency teacher or trainer position, I'd like to move the contract a week or two so I can come home for a bit before starting. We'll see....Oh, and as I uploaded pictures I was reminded to write about Halloween and November 1st.


From the "Romantic Train Ride" in Arashiyama - on the outskirts of Kyoto.
Kyoto - at the very beginning of leaf color changing season
Karaoke madness....eyes closed = passion
I did not kill this child
Tokyo from an observation deck
Can't hide the pain
Kanimiso - crab brains
The menu from Outback in Osaka - Gobel, if you ever read this - I went there for you.
Haha, Lahu-chi's. It took some persuading to get to write on the board long enough to get the picture.

Some dos and don'ts

I received some inspiration from my friend, Sara, for this entry. There are a good number of people that have access to this blog- a lot are coming to visit and some live in Japan. So I'll ask those coming to Japan to please read and keep some of this in mind and if anyone would have anything to add that would also be great. These are little things to keep in mind about Japan so that you aren't surprised, pissed, overwhelmed or confused.

Japan is not America. There are a lot of similarities and the daily life vaguely resembles Western life but there are some minor and some major differences. People here do not generally speak English. While a lot of signs include English - the amount people speak is very limited. Granted, they speak more English than Americans speak Japanese. One helpful thing is that a lot of words are borrowed from English so if you pronounce certain things with more vowel sounds and change L's to R's, you might be able to get your point across. Less is always more - if you can ask in Japanese, use as few words as possible because the more words you use, the more likely you are to confuse people. I know this is an over-blown generalization now but the shoe fits...being louder doesn't make people understand any better. Imagine if I yelled, "Doko eki ni desuka?" at you...chances are I could yell this until I was hoarse and you'd have no idea that I asked where the train station is.

You will definitely know when you have to take your shoes off. This is necessary when entering a home and there are a few places of business (schools, restaurants) that ask you to remove your shoes. You'll see steps or shelves with a bunch of shoes. I've never been caught off guard so I don't think it's that tough.

In the train station, you buy tickets from little machines. I think most of them have an English language setting. Once you buy the ticket, you take it to the gate and put it in the machine and walk through and grab the ticket on the other side. If you wait too long, the ticket will get sucked back into the machine and you'll have to talk to someone and who knows how that will end up. Once you've arrived at your destination you put the ticket in the machine again and this time the machine takes the ticket and you're done. If you've done something wrong, little doors will close and you have to try communicating with the train station workers. Overall, it's pretty intuitive but some people have issues. People wait lines by arrows for the trains because that's where they stop and people (de)board.

On the train, you shouldn't talk on your phone. It won't matter much because people visiting won't have them but people don't talk on their phones on trains. Also, if the train is any bit crowded and you have a backpack, take it off and place it between your legs to make more room.

Most places are cash-only. Some places take credit cards - department stores, American shops but generally everything is cash-based.

There is no tipping in Japan. It's mainly because they are being paid for their work. That's a point of pride and tipping is considered somewhat rude - this includes waiters, taxi drivers, barbers, etc.

In restaurants most people drink water. Usually it comes in very small glasses. You can always ask for refills or some places give you a pitcher. Soft drinks are available but they are expensive and there are no free refills - same goes with coffee (except Mister Donut). The portions are smaller than you think. If you want to eat traditional Japanese foods - you should learn to love noodles and rice. Generally the food is not very salty and, therefore, may taste a little bland to you. Not everything is sushi - as a matter of fact, it's not as pervasive as you'd think. It's definitely more accepted here as normal than America but it's not everywhere...I have a good number of students who don't like fish - that shocked me. They do ALL eat rice and miso soup.

Drinking alcohol in public is perfectly acceptable. But a caveat to that is that drinking anything while walking or wandering around stores or whatever is considered rude. People do it but it's frowned upon and you may get dirty looks. It's the same but a little worse with eating. Usually if you are out of peoples' way and standing still against a wall or something, eating and drinking is fine.

You get a bag for almost everything.

Garbage cans in public are really difficult to find. Normally there garbage cans near grocery stores and convenience stores but I am not sure where else with regularity.

Most people wait for the lights to cross streets. Some people cross but most of the time, there is a gathering of people waiting for lights.

Oh, and there are money trays that you put money onto. Handing money to people kinda takes them off guard.

That's all I can think of right now - I'll try taking some notes while I'm out to see if I can think of other things.


Here are some random pictures:
Two new Japanese friends - Yuka and her husband
Aya and Meredith. Two pictures were being taken and they looked at the other camera. Meredith is from Port Hadlock, WA!!
Mike and I looking American - notice the Budweiser and Snickers
Himeji Crossing Guard - the inspiration for our Halloween costume
Suspended chopsticks, of course

Ohhhhh Hanshin Tigers

One of the goals before leaving was to attend a Japanese baseball game. I never knew the wonders until I saw that insufferable Anthony Bourdain - even despite his presence, I thought the game look captivating. As soon as I got here, I realized that tickets would be next to impossible to come by because their fans are a little bit crazy and every game sells out. Thankfully I work for a school that caters to wealthier kids, with wealthier parents. My friend and roommate from training, TJ, sent me a message and asked if I wanted to go to a game. Quicker than Jamie Lynn Spears got preg-o again, I told him I would love to attend. So I was going to the final home regular season game for the Hanshin Tigers against the Hiroshima Carp. I met TJ, Sara and two of their Japanese teacher friends and we made our way from Kobe to Koshien (15 minute local train). For those who've been to both, Wrigley and Fenway just sorta come out of nowhere..."oh, there's a stadium." After stepping out of the train station, I knew we were close - after all there were thousands of people dressed in jerseys and awesome pants (see below) but I had no idea where the park was. We walked seemingly closer and closer and people kept funneling in towards one place but I was still a bit confused. A little bit ahead and above us were a few highways and a set of train tracks that were concrete over a green base. And behind the highways/train tracks, there was the stadium. It couldn't have been more than fifty feet tall and camouflaged perfectly because the outside was the same green as the highway and we arrived at dusk on a rainy night.

After stopping at the souvenir shop, we were ready to go inside. The inside of the stadium is hard to describe. The concession area was terribly narrow and they had ramps leading into the gates. People were crammed like sardines - some waiting in long long lines for food, some in the designated smoking area (I wish I had a picture of this - it was more ridiculous than smoking rooms at airports), women waiting in winding lines or men walking into the barely-covered urinal rooms. It's not everyday you go to a stadium and dudes are just peeing while people walk behind them. Finally we headed to our seats. The park looks like a glorified minor league park - except the capacity was over 50,000. Rain was coming down softly but steadily but no one could care less. That, in itself, is surprising because the Japanese usually freak out when there's rain - they run everywhere with umbrellas like the next great typhoon is nearing. But at the baseball game, it's just part of the event I guess. One thing I noticed right away was that the covered seats in the park (basically between home/first and home/third) were maybe 2/3 full and the uncovered seats were almost totally occupied. I know in America - if there are open seats near the field, we jump on those lickity split...especially if they're covered and it's raining but not here. I am not sure if it's an issue of honoring the ticket or if it's because the main cheering sections were located in the outfield - I would buy either reason as valid.

Before I knew what happened, the game started. There was no national anthem. There really isn't much stadium-created pageantry and the PA guy was very muted when he announced the first batter. After Hanshin got out of the top of the first, the cheering started and it did not quit until the end of the Hanshin half-inning. We were given these plastic little Fred Flinstone bat things and you bang them together like a boom stick. I find this annoying in America because it's a passing fancy that distracts people into paying attention - like "the wave". In Japan, I was OK with it and participated fully because....everyone does. There is singing, rhythmic bat banging, cheering and chanting and it's non-stop. Each hitter has his own songs and all of the fans know and sing them. I worried about this beforehand because I didn't want to be given dirty looks but once you've heard one, they're pretty much all the same. One of the standards they use was a song that centered around the phrase "Ka-toe-bah-say (player's name)" - "katobase" means essentially "get a hit." The game continued in this pattern until the middle of the 7th - it was balloon time. During the top of the inning, everyone began blowing up their penis looking balloons. So we waited and waited while the American pitching for the Tigers allowed a run and made the inning excruciatingly long. Finally it was time, the Hanshin Tigers fight song started, most people sang...my friends and I mumbled until the "Oh-oh-oh-oh Hanshin Tigers....fure fure fure fure" part and then people let the balloons go. It creates a really cool look with a bunch of multi-colored penis balloons flying up and then coming down. I only wish I performed better. My balloons must have had a problem with premature ejaculation because they went up and then right down. I was left disappointed and unfulfilled, but the spectacle was pretty cool. So, the Tigers got a 2-run homer in the bottom of the 8th by their superstar, Kanemoto, and won 5-3. All in all, just a once in a lifetime event and I can't wait to get back next season. So I've included some photos but before I stop the writing, let me tell you about the greatest curse I've ever heard of:

In 1985, much to Japanese people's surprise, the Hanshin Tigers faced the Seibu Lions and took their first and only victory in the Japan Series, largely due to star slugger Randy Bass, a gaijin (foreigner) player for the team.

The rabid fan base went wild, and a riotous celebration gathered at Ebisubashi Bridge in Dotonbori, Osaka. There, an assemblage of supporters yelled the players names, and with every name a fan resembling a member of the victorious team leapt from the bridge into the waiting canal. However, lacking someone to imitate MVP Randy Bass, the rabid crowd seized a Colonel Sanders (like Bass, the Colonel had a beard and was not Japanese) plastic statue from a nearby KFC and tossed it off the bridge as an effigy.

This impulsive maneuver was to cost the team greatly, beginning the Curse of the Colonel. Urban legend has it that the Tigers will not win the championship again until the statue is recovered. Also at KFC restaurants in the Kansai region, the Colonel is either chained to the stores or brought inside.



Yes, congratulation. But only one.
Flying Phalli
TJ, Sara and the two Japanese teachers - whose names I've forgotten...sorry.
A look across the field where the right field stands prepared to launch
At their full power
Crazy 1980s vendors - Donata biiru wa desuka?
View from our seats- there was an unexplained entrance to the field in the middle of the stands.
TJ - but, more importantly, the pants I must find.
Hanshin Tigers Taxi

Ohhhhh!!!

For Tiffany - I just watched "Full House" with Japanese dubbing. Glorious!

Nearing the Climax

I would like to thank my various friends for their ideas and assistance in writing this blog entry. Although I still have no clue how it will turn out, they have been a great deal of help - Tiffany, Andy, Rachel...you will all be repaid in 1 Yen pieces.

Last weekend was super duper busy. After work Saturday night, I have no idea what I did. Good start to fleshing out this story, I know. My Saturdays in the fall have been and will continue to follow a pattern: eat, drink, don't pass out, listen to the Illini game starting at 1am, inevitably fall asleep, wake up numerous times to check the progress. The Illini vs Louisiana-Lafayette game looked sleepable so I nodded off around halftime and eventually woke up to a 20-17 final. Thankfully I remembered we had 20 when I fell asleep but I panicked almost enough to let out a tear.

Sunday night, Himeji-shi was holding a "Moon Viewing Party" at the castle. My mom's saying of "Asians have parties every time someone farts in the wind" seems to hold up outside of America as well. At the base of the castle, there is a huge field where thousands of people gathered. Along the perimeter of the field, a whole bunch of concession stands stood offering normal Japanese concession foods - like cucumbers and a variety of teas. It's a bit different from hot dogs and nachos and processed cheese. There is one major similarity - alcohol. Although beer is widely available, this festival must have had some tie-in with local sake breweries. For 500 Yen, you are given a sake cup, which you take to the giant square in the middle of the park and try different breweries' sakes. From my American experience with sake, I expected variations of rubbing alcohol. Surprisingly sake flavors vary greatly and most of them do not make me exhale loudly with a pained look on my face. I'd forgotten that sake is actually rice wine - and these actually tasted like rice. So, even though the sake was my and most peoples' main attraction, there was also a giant stage with different Japanese music and dances and even the taiga drums - those giant bass canvas drums...captivating in person. Every time I visit that castle, a sense of history overwhelms me. I know that you could walk around and think that people have walked in this spot for hundreds of years but you don't really understand the magnitude until you've been somewhere where great preservation efforts have been made. Samurais and I have walked in the same exact spots (and the weird one-day tourists with over or under-sized stained shirts, giant cameras, cargo shorts, big white socks and boots). I haven't been brave enough to visit the section of the castle where it's believed that people committed hari kari - you know, the sword to the stomach deal.

The next day I woke up to phone calls from a blocked number. About four of them came through before there was a message- it was old roommate David and Hirman. They were in Japan (as I'd known they would be) for a day and wanted to get together. Unfortunately they were in Tokyo and I am nowhere close to Tokyo. We wanted to find something in the middle, but there really is nothing so they relented and took the shinkansen to Kyoto and I met them there. This is the third time I've been to Kyoto and that city will never get old. There is a modern city built around history. It's remarkable to walk around a shopping district and have a temple perfectly in tact right next to a line of stores. David, Hirman and I went to three places - Kinkaku-jin Castle (Golden Castle - as you may recall), the first Buddhist Zen Garden and Fukushimi Inari Shrine which is famous for its toriis. You'd probably recognize them as giant gates - see the picture below. Earlier that day, we received out fortunes. The idea with this is if you receive a good fortune, you are to keep it with you until your fortune is fulfilled and mail or bring back the paper to the temple - and if it's bad, you tie it to designated posts. Mine was pretty awesome - here's the transcription:

"Everything you want to do can be done well. No problem in your family.
Your Fortune: Excellent
Your boss will back you up. There seems to be no problem. Your family will live together happily. Be modest and clean, respect older people and be kind to younger people. Your fortune will be much more excellent.
Wish- Everything goes as you expect. You can sell or buy any house, any land.
Expected visitor- He (or she) will come very soon.
Missing Thing- Keep calm and look around with patience
Travel- Business trip will do good
Business- All right, but be cool.
Study- No problem, continue studying
Speculation- Just wait, or you'll lose
Game and Match- You will surely win. Be calm.
Love- Get along with your partner faithfully
Removal- No problem
Childbirth- Don't worry
Illness- Be faithful, and it will soon be cured
Marriage Proposal- Leave it to others. You can realize it.

I like these Japanese fortunes, they tell me I am awesome and I have and will have no problems.

There are nine Taco Bell locations in Japan - the nearest is 645km away. Dammit.

Next week, I'll get to go to my first Japanese baseball game!!! I think that it's a makeup game - and it is the last regular season home game for the Hanshin Tigers and I cannot wait. They are playing the Hiroshima Toyo Carp. Even though I have no clue what the fight song means, I am trying to learn it so I don't feel like a jackass - more than normal. If you've never seen anything on Japanese baseball, the fans are certifiably crazy - like soccer but louder. They have specified cheers for each player. There's no way for me to learn all of this but the experience will be unreal. Speaking of baseball, I am really missing watching the White Sox limp into the playoffs. It'll be pretty awesome to be first victims of the Tampa Bay Rays cinderella postseason run.

I am putting this part last because I know my mom prints these out and sends them to my grandparents - Mom, it might be high time to take out the scissors. Earlier this week, I looked out of the window at school and saw one of the moms that I teach and she had a t-shirt on that said, "Nearing the Climax". The hilarity of Engrish shirts never ceases to amaze and entertain but this one was too much to pass up. I told my co-worker that I was going to talk with the mom about her shirt during our lesson a few days later. Thankfully when Saturday came, she wore the shirt again to class!! Oh, perfect. There is no real way to just say- "do you understand what your shirt means" with someone who doesn't know the language well. Like everything else, I had to build the bridge. So we talked about metaphors first - comparing apples to oranges. Once we established that concept, I wrote "Nearing the Climax" on the board and asked if she knew what a climax was. She did - the climax or turning point of a story. I asked her to think about sex, hoping she would put two and two together. No such luck. I apologized a few times in advance of my next tactic. You should know now that she is hilarious and I wasn't stepping totally out of bounds but still, a little taboo. I wrote "orgasm" on the whiteboard and asked her to look it up in her dictionary. She read the definition in Japanese, her eyes widened and her mouth went agape then she laughed to the point where she almost fell out of the chair....definitely a high point of my short-lived teaching career.

Enjoy pictures - comment please!

This is the giant, mutant pear I bought the other day
The first of a thousand toriis - and David with a homage to Titanic --- probably
The first Zen Garden - these rocks have been in the same place since the 15th century
My friend, Mr. Buddha
We took the Usual Route
Tough to see, but these are Mandarin ducks - cleanest ducks I've ever seen
Moon Festival and a view of the lit up castle - pretty awesome picture
Sake dealers
Jacqui with her 2200 Yen parfait. She finished every drop herself
So, in one class- I drew a panda that didn't look much like a panda, so I made it a dog that doesn't look much like a dog. The next class's student came in and drew something on the board - just....look
Ladies and Gentlemen, the return of #1!!!!!
Team I Don't Think We Have a Name But We Do Wear Teenage Girl Sun Arm Protectors!!

Teaching the Familiar in an Unfamiliar Place

This will be a difficult entry to write - not because I am having a mental or creative lapse but I bought a guitar yesterday and my fingers are killing me right now. For those guitarists, do they callous up sometime quick or am I just a giant pansy for the tips of my fingers hurting and my left forearm muscles burning? Spending a great deal of time on the internet is fun and all but I could be doing more constructive things with my evenings. On Sunday, I begin the first round of Japanese lessons at the International Center - only 3000 Yen for 10 lessons...ridiculously cheap when the alternative is a private lesson - one session, two hours, 3000 Yen. Between that and the guitar, I should be more of an awesome, self-absorbed person whenever I get back to the US.

Aside from the hour or so I spent before writing the "While I'm Thinking About It", I have not sat down and outlined or thought about what I wanted to write...it was never my style in school and why should it be now? I feel like I get across what I want to get across easier if I have free-flowing thoughts. All that said, I took a few minutes to think of six pretty important obstacles I'm encountering while teaching in Japan. Some of them I've learned to deal with and some I am still feel pretty lost but here they are. I know there are, at least, a few teachers that read this and maybe you'll sympathize - or maybe not because they may be too specific to Japan.

Obstacle #1 - The kids are really cute.
I am having some trouble figuring out whether this is Japan-specific or not, but I am leaning towards thinking it is. Obviously there are cute kids everywhere - by the same token, there are unfortunate looking kids everywhere. What separates American and Japanese children is that there more cuter kids in number than in America, I think. I am going to stick with that theory but I do understand the counter-points - I have fewer children in total than American teachers would, it's only been ten weeks, the kids are from more affluent families and I cannot understand most of what they say (more on this later). As a whole, I think that Japanese parents have more concern with the way their children look than American parents. Maybe I've forgotten or something but my memory of American children but I am just picturing strange fitting clothes with random stains. That doesn't really happen here - maybe it's because Japanese adults don't really walk around in comfort clothes or maybe it's because most Japanese women are stay-at-home Moms and they have the time and the money to keep the kids constantly clean and dressed well. Most of the younger kids come to my classes dressed nicely - polo shirts, button down shirts with pants or shorts and a lot of dresses on the little girls. They look like children that belong in magazines. Most teachers I've spoken with seem to share the belief that the cuter the kids look, the easier it is to become lenient with discipline or with sticking with a lesson. I wouldn't say it's been a huge problem for me but I've noticed it.

Please let me share a story that wholly disagrees with my theory. Two weeks ago, I had this little boy in a private lesson. I was transitioning between parts of the class. He did not say a word - in Japanese or in English but as soon as I knew it, there was a pee puddle in the middle of the room. I've had no siblings, no real experience babysitting or teaching or any other child waste evac training so I panicked. I opened the door and motioned for him to come. We needed to get downstairs to the bathroom. I should have just picked him up but my mind was racing so he just kinda cowboy walked in his pee pants to the stairs and headed to the bathroom. I opened the door, he put on the bathroom slippers and lifted the toilet seat so I figured he could take it from there. Nope, he got his pants down and hugged the toilet bowl. Hmmmm...as I was planning my next action, I looked down and saw a poop nugget making its way out. My muscles seized but I snapped back pretty quick and lifted him onto the toilet. I gave him the thumbs up to make sure he knew what was going on...he stared blankly. I closed the door and got my manager. She barged into the bathroom and as soon as she did, he bolted out of the room - with only a t-shirt on. The moms who were watching my agony starting frantically pointing because he still had poop coming out!! My manager got him back into the bathroom and eventually he finished the job. I presume manager was calling his mother during this time but she told me, "Please continue the lesson." Shocked and awed, we went back upstairs and I went fifteen minutes past time with a basically naked boy. As I maintained my distance, he was spreading eagle in liberated glory all over the room as the frightened foreign teacher ran in circles trying to avoid contact. Thankfully it all ended with a barrage of 'sumimasens' from his mom...this ordeal was not cute.

Obstacle #2 - Communication

Well, duh...right? Communication is difficult for the four thousand reasons you think of right away. Past the normal communication barrier between adult and child, it's exponentially more difficult when neither the child nor the teacher totally understands what the other is saying. Aside from learning some Japanese by exposure, I really cannot tell what my kids think or say unless it's in English or by gestures.

Thankfully, communication the world-over is not entirely about the words you use. Many messages and points can be delivered by the tone of your voice or with non-verbal communication. A pissed-off stare means the same thing in Japan as it does in America. On the flipside, kids have the tendency to talk 'to you' while they do something - they are talking so that you'll listen but don't care whether you answer or what your answer is - so a few well-placed "ohhh"s or "mmm"s does the trick. I've used this with kids from all different cultures with the same results. Of course this also works a lot with adults too. Also tried and true.

Obstacle #3 - Crazy kids are everywhere

I have a group of five 8-9 year olds each Tuesday evening and I truly feel like if I had to deal with that everyday, I would be an alcoholic. My situation is a little different because the structure of school is not really present so I don't have that to rely on but I have a new respect for 3rd or 4th grade teachers. Also I have a couple of kids throughout the week that are just a little bit nuts. I always like to say that they are the kids that stand with both arms behind their backs and the left hand holds the right elbow and they sway back and forth. They are the same kids who are forced to play little league and spend the time squatting in right field picking dandelions. I've noticed about the same ratio of normal to abnormal here as America.

Obstacle #4 - Rewards and Disappointments

Mentoring teenagers last year taught me that every class is building a bridge. And the next class is building that same bridge and moving a little forward. Hopefully, in time, that bridge is built and you move onto the next bridge. It's like taking the Oregon Trail and you have to see how far you can get before catching cholera, fording a river and drowning with your hundred pounds of oxen meat. Kids understanding something is a natural high that can't really be explained but I have to try not focusing on it...instead I need to build on that and hopefully something else will sink in. Everything works the same in reverse. Often times, kids are just parroting me and it becomes evident pretty quickly - it's really disappointing. I get to points where I don't know how to teach something or where I think the kids will never understand what I want them to learn. To me, it means that I have to find more ways to make them absorb the lesson and that's my main obstacle thusfar with teaching.

Obstacle #5 - Students in Japan have a different life

I won't try to guess what American kids are like nowadays and how teachers deal with them, but I can tell you that Japanese kids work their asses off. Their educational devotion is not a myth. Whether or not it's the right way to do things isn't what I'm concerned with...it's trying not to bog them down even further and makes things interesting for them. That's not only my thought - it's part of our company's mission. Kids get time off (maybe a little less than American kids) for vacations. The difference is that they are generally assigned projects or reports to do over the vacations. In addition to everyday school, kids are in prep classes, mandatory school clubs/festivals, cram schools and supplemental lessons (like mine) - and those add-on activities are increased when school is on vacation. It's really no wonder why kids show up for a 7pm lesson completely wiped-out. I can't blame them and I try to make the lesson as relaxed but educational as I can. A lot of times I feel like I am being too casual - but I would much rather that than to pile on more stress to their already ridiculous lives. Perhaps I am deluding myself but I think they learn more in that environment than if I cracked a ruler and we went over grammar for an hour.

Obstacle #6 - Inside the class - authority, Outside the class - idiot

My favorite paradox of Japan is that inside of my school building, there is absolutely no one there more qualified to teach a subject than me but outside, I know less about living in this culture and speaking its language than anyone I know. In Japan, I'm an English savant who cannot function in other parts of life without assistance or the patience of strangers.

I will include a few pictures of the cutest child known to man (Hikaru) and I'd ask you to visit my school's web page to see me horrible staff picture and the picture (in the scroll - upper left) with two of my high school students!

http://www.amity.co.jp/school/english/2819.html

And I'll answer a few questions from the emails that have trickled in -

Amanda, originally of Park Ridge, IL writes "I have a size 7.5 women's feet. Would I be considered a Big Foot in Japan? =)"

Ok, well a 7.5 American is about equal to 24cm here and that would be your shoe size. I don't know for sure about women's shoes but most of my friends have had issues. While you wouldn't be Big Foot, it'd be tough to find shoes here - also keep in mind that Japanese women have really narrow feet and width becomes a problem too. I cannot easily find shoes here...oddly the bowling alley carries larger size shoes but I've found nothing in Himeji. But...Kobe is supposedly the shoe capital of Japan - maybe I'll explore that. Amanda, come visit...we'll shoe shop!

Here's a good time to give credit where it's due. I thanked my Mom for my lack of artistic ability and juvenile sense of humor. To be honest, I thought about thanking you for my belching abilities but actually used tact for once. Well, I was caught on it, so...Mom, thank you for my belching abilities. If it wasn't for your nightly burp concerts and your constant encouragement, I would not be adequately prepared for power hours. Now onto a few of your questions:

Do the Japanese have pets (or do they just eat them)?
This isn't Korea...or Arkansas!! There are more pets here than I thought but not that many compared to the US. Most people live in apartments and that makes it a little more troublesome to have pets.

Given the warnings about bringing your own deodorant and the excessively high humidity, do Japanese people smell?
You know, not really. The only time I notice anything is after they eat certain foods and get dragon breath. Oooooh, sometimes that is nothing short of repulsive.

Do the Japanese discuss their own politics? Do they tend to be more liberal or conservative?
Maybe if I knew Japanese, I would have a better answer but I've never heard it. Something tells me the communication is different because Japan isn't a democracy but I really don't know. My guess is that they'd be conservative at heart, even if they look ridiculously liberal on the outside.

Done. Phew!

HIKARU!!!!!

Brenna using the wonderful slime that her student made in science class and gifted to her!