Seoulful Maiden Voyage

Seoulful Maiden Voyage

Things just do not go easily or smoothly for me. I don't mean that to sound whiny or negative because I have a great, privileged life but pretty much every major part of my life comes with obstacles and detours. While things like this probably happen to everyone, stories never seem to equate to some of the absurdity I've experienced. My journey to Japan is not really astounding but it serves as a typical example of some of the weird events in my life.

After the predictably tearful goodbye to my parents this morning, I brought what amounted to about 150lbs of luggage into O'Hare and checked in...so far, so good. Apparently my passport and work visa are acceptable and I was checked onto my flight. But once I entered the security, the never-ending love/hate relationship with United began. The petulant bag checking lady delightedly informed me that my carry-on was too big and needed to be checked. I had illusions of a well-versed pleading that came out as, "ummm...I need to have this bag with me." She asked why..."because I...umm...need it in Osaka." I could assume she didn't know what Osaka was but I am guessing her vacant look just simply meant, "I do not care." Stumbling stupidly through my explanation, I thought...'I'll have the damn bag in Osaka and my explanation made no sense.' I revisited the ladies that checked me in and they both offered a sympathetic response which I hoped translated into avoiding a fee...no. One of them guessed $130 and then was surprised that I only incurred a $94 tab for the extra bag.

The good part of the third bag being checked is that I don't have to lug around a 43lb bag around the terminal. My seat for the first leg of the trip (to San Francisco) was 1A - first class! Usually I opt out of first class (I know, crazy) but today I was aiming to spend as many of the 16 in-flight hours as I could in comfort. Sitting in first class is like two seats behind the dugout at a baseball game. Those are desired and wonderful seats but sometimes I want to be a little further back to see the whole field. Anyways, I enjoyed the omelette and fruit breakfast and then the three hours of sleep caught up to me and I slept for more than half of the flight. At around 10:30 Pacific time, the flight landed in San Francisco and I had 67 minutes to catch my connection.

Now the plane has made its way to the gate and we start de-boarding. Time: 11:11. In 26 minutes, I have to get to the international terminal and get through security again. First, the departure boards confused me because the international gates start with a "G" but the gate listed for Osaka-Kansai was "100". Using my best judgment, I defaulted to 'Osaka is not in America...therefore, it's international.' Yes!! My assumption was correct and I stood in line for security. Time: 11:19. Well, the damn TSA people either took their jobs more seriously or held less compassion for me than the ORD guy. I bought five tubes of toothpaste for my co-worker and they were quickly confiscated. I think TSA guy wanted to read me the rules and regulations but I basically told him I had a flight in ten minutes and to just take the toothpaste. Sorry, Sarah...they're gone. Through security - Time: 11:28. Gate G100 was only a few hundred feet and a down escalator away. And I've arrvied...Time: 11:32. It goes a little hazy from here because I'm told that I cannot board because I was assumed as missing and my bag was removed from the plane. Gate agents and people on the plane communicated for a few minutes and, eventually, I was told that I could not make the flight and I still don't understand why.

I was told that if I missed my flight, I should call my recruiters and let them know so they could communicate to the staff in Japan. I called a few times with no answer and then visited the counter to go over my options...well, option. A flight was leaving in an hour to Seoul that would have another connection to Osaka - and would arrive about five hours after my original plan. After trying to reach recruiters in the office and their cell phones, I made the executive decision to book the flight. Of course the next call I place to the cell phone gets one of my recruiters on the line and she tells me to stay in San Francisco and hop the next flight to Osaka tomorrow. Not only is tomorrow's flight over-booked but there are no open seats for, at least, a week. Without really asking, the supervisor has decided to cut me a check for $400 for my trouble. All I did was explain why I needed to get Osaka as soon as possible and United authorized a hotel for me in Osaka. I called Amity back, explained the situation and we should be all good to go. The only part left to figure out is what happens when I get to Japan - is someone going to meet me or do I stay in the Japanese hotel and wait for word? Now, I am about two hours into my flight to Seoul - once I get there or Osaka, I need to check my email to give me my next move. I thought this was easy enough but then I thought about the internet situation in Japan. Chances are, it'll be easy to figure out in the airport but what if I search for a wireless signal and it's in Chinese characters? What if I pick the wrong one? What if it translates to, 'haha, you stupid gaijin...your stealing this signal has authorized me to steal your identity and sell it on the black market for ninja stars and Fruity Pebbles?"

It's about five hours since I last updated this entry but we are about 240 miles from Seoul and I had a few random thoughts. Previously I likened the first class experience to having seats behind the dugout. Well, my ORD to SFO first class trip was like a 6-3 borefest. The SFO-Seoul leg is like watching a no-hitter with dugout seats. I am in the first seat past first class and I would like to kill the people with reclining comfy chairs and food that actually looks prepared, rather than mass-nuked. Uh oh, the little tv screen is showing the miles traveled, altitude and some random number but they're being identified by Asian symbols. So it begins!

Cost benefit analysis: Book, sudoku book, gum - ($18), baggage fee ($94), trouble money +$400 = +$288 - hmmm, not bad!

My most entertaining subplot of this flight is watching the mildly flamboyant Asian flight attendant (who looks curiously like Robert Goulet) approach our row and continuously refer to the girl next to me as 'sir'. It's not a language gap - he must either be cunningly humorous or confused by her boyish haircut, tucked in green t-shirt to mom jeans and white socks plus black shoes. Sexy!